First Letter To My Pre-mature Twins

The moment when mummy delivered you both at 35 weeks,  mummy was in depression with strong guilt, especially doctor pronounced you both have holes in your hearts.

Mummy greatest phobia was when both of you ill...

Your hospitalization record as of today:

1st Month:  NICU for 20 days for observation, blood transfusion and weight gain

1st Month 3rd week: Twin One admitted to hospital again due to abnormal ear discharge

2  Month: Both Twins admitted due to lung infection, both on oxygen tube support & antibiotic. Twin two re-admitted to ICU due to severe chest recession, mummy saw you being lock in a high oxygen flow incubator, crying very very loud. Nothing that mummy could do except watch you crying, helpless and in deep sorrow, mummy never forget the moment you were inside incubator. 

Twin One recover very slow due to hole in your heart...mummy broke down at hospital for 20 days without sleep. Despite doctor's advise, mummy never want to leave you at hospital alone receive treatment, mummy stay with you till doctor approve to discharge you. Your sister, twin two also stay with us, despite she was able to discharge one week earlier than you. 

7 month: Twin One out of sudden having high fever, another hospital stay for 1 week, this round mummy never cry, already a frequent hospital client, nothing worst compare to first two months that we went through baby. 

Mummy heard many real stories of pre-mature babies:

1.  Unable to walk untill 2 years old

2.  Unable to speak until 4 years old & etc.

Something that we don't know what to expect until the time comes.... mummy worry....whether it happens to you both...especially when both of you have heart defects.

NO! My twins, don't worry, as mummy writing this, both of your development has been on par with normal babies, sometimes even beyond daddy & mummy expectations!

Remember, it was Auntie L, your third month nanny whom came and help us.

Auntie L 

Sleep Through The Night 

She tune you both sleep through the night without milk ( 11pm-12am until 7am-8am ). Despite this, you both reach normal weight range at 3 month. 

Twin two, you didn't want to sleep. especially at night, cried non stop since second month back from hospital, daddy said you are colic baby, we tried all methods ( swaddle, carry you whole night long, sing & dance with you ) but doesn't work, until Auntie L came, you slept on her arm at night, only for a while ( about 5 minutes ) she carry you.

Sun Bath

Every morning sun bath you both for 10 minutes, to avoid skin problems. Doctor preamp mummy that twin one likely to have eczema ( seborrheic dermatitis ). Twin Two you have severe rashes on your cheeks. All thanks to Auntie L, you both never have the problem since then, don't even need to apply any cream from doctor.

Twin two you enjoy sun bath a lot, while Twin One, you cried so loud every time sun bath, until the neighbor would have taught we abuse you!

Supplements 

She introduces supplements that support your healthy growth. 

Ever since then, you both grow up healthy: 

6 Month: Twin One crawls

7 Month: Twin One can stand with support

9 Month: Twin Two crawls

9 Month: Twin One can walk with support

9 Month: Twin One mumbles "Papa"

10 Month: Twin Two also mumbles "Papa"

10 Month: Twin Two can stand and walk with support 

Your Heart Holes conditions:

Twin Two: @ 7 month, doc confirms fully closed up. Hurrah! 

Twin One: @ 9 month, doc said size has reduced from 6mm to 4mm, likely hood to close up as you grow up, no medication at all.

Its amazing that twin one can stand at seven month despite pre-mature and having hole in his heart, twin one, if mummy don't say this, no one knows you have hole in your heart right?

Mummy's Milk 
Mummy was very weak after delivery and didn't have enough breast milk, thought of giving up at third month but it was auntie L whom keeps on encourage mummy never give up, continue to pump out every 3 hours and every day prepare meals, soup that helps mummy increase milk. Thanks to her, although it wasn't enough for full supply, you both had enjoy mummy's milk.  

Porridge 

She taught mummy how to cook porridge. What to give you both eat so that you both grow up tall & strong. Twin Two, auntie L said will make you grow up tall with top fashion model's figure in future, but remember your daddy disapprove you to be a fashion model, ok? 

So even you are having the model's figure but you cannot become model, ok? :-)

My lovely twins:

You have trained mummy to live stronger
You have make daddy very busy in the morning and night ( no matter how busy, every day he gives you both his hugs and kisses, his smiles and his laughter, right? )


Remember, there were many people whom have helped us along the way, and we shall treasure them one day...

. 

Confinement Lady / Nanny (Auntie L)

This page is for anyone who wants to hire a confinement lady or short term nanny, especially for twins mother whom have high risk of pre-mature babies, or babies whom born with illness.


I didn't manage to book her as my confinement lady. Both my confinement ladies have no experience in handling twins. Towards the end of my confinement, I broke down in hospital with my sick twins, very tired of  taking care of twins round the clock for 20 days, eventually I have to beg my confinement lady to stay at hospital taking care of my twins a few hours a day so that I can be release and have few hours for uninterrupted sleep at home. Later when I knew auntie L,  I  realize she had help many mummies take care of their babies in hospital many years ago.

She works for me as stay-in nanny for one month in my twins 3rd month. She put my twins sleep through the night in a week. She diligently bring my babies for sun bath every day which helps to resolve my babies skin problems, especially the rashes on cheeks and private parts, without applying any cream prescribed by doctor. I was about to give up breast milk as no matter how hard I tried, I
only managed to pump out very little milk, 10ml a day. She encourages me continue pumping, never give up, reminding me that my milk is the best thing for my twins' wellness especially they have holes in their hearts. Moreover, she said breast milk can help baby gain weight ( since mine are pre-mature under weight) , resolve constipation, also it helps them to clean the white spots on their tongue.

When she was with me, I manage to have some free time. My babies routine is sleep, milk, burp, then sleep again. Unlike the previous month nanny, she stayed awake at night to care for my babies and I have to let her take nap for 2-3 hours in the afternoon. Auntie L didn't take nap longer than one hour, as she didn't have to stay awake during night time since my twins sleep through the night.
Sometimes in the afternoon, we even spend time to make pau...haha, not bad huh, two full time twin carers able to accomplish so much, baby sitting, house work, cooking 3 meals plus baking. Sometimes I go out whole afternoon & let her manage the twins, my twins sleep about 2-3 hours in the afternoon, when I return, she usually already finish all the house work ( wipe the fans, mop the floor & etc. ).  It was then that I told myself, why not I try handle my twins alone without helper, since Auntie L can do it, why not me.....?


Below is her profile that I have put together for her for your reference.


Name: Auntie L
Age: 52 years old
Healthy and strong
Good attitude
Speaks Chinese, Malay & English

Strengths:
1. Extensive Knowledge in Nutrition & Chinese Medicine, ability to differentiate real & false Chinese medicine.

2. Support & encourage breast feedings. If you don’t have enough breast milk, she will share with you the secret of increasing milk.

3. Experience in taking care of 5 pairs of twins for confinement and the babies growing up healthily.

Background:

Sept 2011 – date: Confinement Lady ( worked for Chinese, Malay, Indian and Mat Salleh family before, been travel to Australia and other parts of the world )

August 2011: Taking care of a new born with heart problem at hospital during confinement period, the new born were staying at ICU since birth. Initially doctor said baby would need to stay at hospital for minimum 3 months, but after her support through mummy breast feeding, the new born were discharge 3 weeks after operation.

March 2008 - Aug 2011: Baby sister – take care of baby from birth till 2 years old.
During her tenure of service, the toddler did not fall sick for 2.5 years, except when during her off day where the toddler was taken care by her parents. The toddler were able to turn her back at 2.5 months and able to walk by holding the bed side at 5th months under her care.

2007: Nanny for a toddler with asthma (3 years old) 。This toddler’s asthma is so critical that he required to be supported by oxygen tube 24 hours. After her dedicated care for 4 months, the toddler does not require oxygen support anymore, the doctor were surprised with his recovery progress.

2005 - 2006: 11 months taking care of a baby girl having illness in hospital ICU (The baby girl has cleft palate,epilepsy, blind, cramps).

How Much?
Charges: RM 5000 for 28 days service within KL, Malaysia; excluding “Ang Pow”
Deposit RM 500 for booking confirmation
Outstation transportation paid by client
Outside Malaysia: subject for discussion & availability
As of today ( 21 Oct 15) She is available from 20 Nov – 31 Dec 2015 & May 2016 onwards.
Those who are interested and sincere in engaging her service, kindly pm/email me your contact #, due date, location. Will get her to contact you should she is available.

Second Month

Ever since auntie L shared with me on her baby tips, plus my own readings and research, I trust I can be a good mother.

First month: They spend most of their time at hospital, I typically raise them in hospital. They both cried non stop, or one after another for milk or discomfort, I was trained to accept their cry as part and parcel of my life.

At first, I couldn't take it, especially they both cried non stop round the clock. Feeding gap was about 2-3 hours each baby, imagine I took care of them alone in hospital, nurses only help as and when they are free, was really exhausted, very tired, very sad, don't know what to do except cry in front of hubby every day.

Hubby comes every night to help few hours, but still I couldn't rest as the room was brightly lighten, plus my babies or other babies crying...and their oxygen sensor keeps on making tut tut sound at the time, just next to my pillow...sigh!

I had 2 confinement lady but I think it was the simplest  job that they did, my twins at hospital most of the time, typically they only take care of my twins few days then my twins admitted to hospital...the rest of the time, one cook and another one drive to hospital to send me confinement meal....towards the end of confinement, I couldn't stand but beg them to take shift for me to take care of twins at hospital, they were not very happy, saying that first time they do confinement at hospital and they never seen such cases before, one of them also claim hospital lots of virus, she doesn't want to get infected and etc...sad, in the end, they helped but one help one day, the other few days ( about 4 days, alternate days only )

Second month: Finally discharged and was able to hire another confinement lady as stay in nanny to help me at home. Her name is Ah L, also starts from L...First few nights, don't know why, twin 2 keeps on crying at night, also vomit milk, twin 2 starts vomit milk since at first month, don't know why, may be we overfeed her, The confinement lady and Ah L said stomach got wind, so need to applyt oil 如意油。。。or eat Eu Yan Sang Bo Ying Compound.
I also had differences with Ah L on the way she handle my twins, she keeps on carry them, swing them in her arms to make them sleep, especially when they cry. I told her let my babies sleep on their own, I live with them for close to a month at hospital, I know they can sleep without carry them, also since she works for me one month only, I cannot afford to keep on carry or swing them alone after she leaves,especially I wasn't sure at that time whether I could find any nanny or not. She wasn't happy with me, she said baby sure cry if they haven't deep sleep, why not let her carry till they deep sleep then only put them to bed!

Second night, she keeps on carry twin 2 whole night, somehow twin 2 keeps on crying, she said she looks for me as I was breastfeeding her, after I fed twin 2, twin 2 still refuse to sleep, she carry twin 2 almost whole night long, carry and swing her to sleep, but twin 2 still not sleeping, the next day early morning, about 5am, I over heard she scolded twin 2, she said : " What you want? This one cannot that one cannot! So bad girl...." My heart broken, luckily I was with them together with nanny sleeping at living hall, else I wouldn't know she is so frustrated with twin 2

On third  day, she said she cannot work with me, she wants to resign and leave immediately. I was panic, hubby said better keep her as I have no option last minute and I was so tired returning from hospital. Hubby also said I should not interfere how she works, she has her way, we cannot detect her way especially she is already aged, around 60 years old and quite stubborn. Hence, I  apologize to her, and beg her to continue work for me.  I will compromise on her way, at first she said she helps one week, after one week, I ask favor again, eventually she agrees to continue to work till end of the month since I never interfere how she works.

After all, I appreciate she was willing to continue work for me, as she never sleeps at night, she stays awake to look after my twins, when my twins cry at night , she just make milk, feed them, change  their pampers. Typically she never sleeps throughout the night, she stays awake with coffee, do some reading on confinement recipes & etc. So in the afternoon, I let her take few hours nap and I handle the twins alone.

Also things that I learn from her:
1.  Twin one was having dandruff, she seek advice from her 80 year old friend whom have lots of experience, apply oil ( that time we use olive oil ) on their head, then shower them.

2. She potty trained my twins, during her stay, my 2 month old twins were poo at a routine, around 6am to 630am.

3. She helped me boil bitter gout water for twins to release heat on their face and body

4. She has 3 children, she raised her children on their own and all her children do housework and can cook.

5. Her husband is a plumber, she also help me to fix my water tap which was "sumbat" by just opening the cap

6. She fixed my trolley

BB Feeding Chart

General guild line but need to be flexible:
1. Feeding every 3 hours
2. Day by day as they grow need to feed more
3. If still cry after feeding, means not enough
4. Experience people like aunty L can easily determine how much need to be fed by carrying baby and estimate their weight
5. Flexible, if baby cry loud for milk before 3 hours, give
6. Milk left over shall not use after 3 hours, in my case, I never bother to warm up to much after aunty L left, and sometimes I still give after 3 hours esp after 1 year old
7. This chart was used until they reach 7 months, when I started weaning them.







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